What Travel Looks Like vs. What It Really Feels Like
At 23 years old, I thought I had life pretty well figured out.
I wasn't chasing some grand adventure to "find myself." I simply wanted to experience life in another country. My plan was straightforward: move to Australia for six months, see the Great Barrier Reef, learn to scuba dive, and then come home to Canada.
That was it.
I never imagined that one decision would completely change the direction of my life.
Six months turned into two years. Australia became New Zealand. New Zealand became the United Kingdom. Then came Thailand, China, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Central America, South America, and dozens of countries in between. Looking back now, it's almost funny to think how convinced I was that I had my future mapped out.
Today, travel is often sold as something much bigger than a holiday. Scroll through social media and you'll quickly find videos promising that a trip will change your life, help you find yourself, or reveal your purpose. The message is everywhere: book the ticket, climb the mountain, watch the sunset, and you'll come home a different person.
After travelling for more than sixteen years and visiting 56 countries, I don't think that's how it works.
I don't believe you "find yourself" on a two-week trip.
In fact, I don't think I ever found myself through travel at all.
Instead, I built myself.
Not in one life-changing moment, but through thousands of small ones. Through missed buses and long border crossings. Through living in countries where I knew no one. Through learning to solve problems on my own, making mistakes, celebrating small victories, and discovering that I was capable of far more than I ever expected.
When people look at my travel photos, they see beautiful beaches, mountain peaks, colourful cities, and unforgettable experiences. What they don't see are the ordinary moments in between. The waiting, the uncertainty, the homesickness, the excitement, the frustration, the laughter, and the countless little experiences that quietly shaped the person I would become.
Travel didn't magically transform me.
It slowly changed me, one experience at a time.
And I think that's a far more realistic—and far more meaningful—story.
The photos capture the destinations, but the real story was everything that happened between them.
What Travel Looks Like
If you've ever looked through my travel photos, you'd probably think I've lived one incredible adventure after another.
You'd see me watching the sunrise over Machu Picchu, standing on beautiful beaches in Costa Rica, exploring ancient temples, hiking through mountains, and smiling with people I'd only just met. It looks like one exciting experience after the next, and in many ways, it was.
Those moments were real.
I really did stand at the top of those mountains. I really did swim in crystal-clear water, celebrate at hostel parties, and watch some of the most incredible sunsets I've ever seen.
But a photograph only captures a single moment.
It doesn't show the early mornings, the long bus rides, the border crossings, or the hours spent trying to figure out where I was going next. It doesn't show the days spent working to save money for the next adventure or the weeks of planning that made those experiences possible.
When you move abroad, people back home usually see the highlights. They see the beach photos, the weekend trips, and the once-in-a-lifetime experiences. They don't see you going to work on Monday morning, grocery shopping after work, doing your laundry, paying rent, or trying to figure out the local public transport.
For me, that was especially true when I first moved to Australia. Social media wasn't what it is today. My friends and family followed my journey through Facebook photos and occasional updates. To them, I was living this incredible life on the other side of the world—and I was—but they were only seeing the moments that were worth taking a picture of.
The reality was that travel wasn't one long holiday.
It was life.
Just in a different country.
And like life anywhere else, it came with routines, responsibilities, unexpected problems, and plenty of ordinary days between the extraordinary ones.
Behind every travel photo are countless ordinary moments: working, doing laundry, catching buses, and buying groceries, that rarely make it onto social media.
What Travel Feels Like
One of the biggest misconceptions about travel is that it's supposed to feel extraordinary all the time.
After all, if you're standing in front of one of the Seven Wonders of the World or watching the sun set over a tropical beach, surely you're supposed to feel happy, grateful, and completely fulfilled.
Sometimes you do.
Sometimes you don't.
Travel isn't a permanent state of happiness. It's still life, and life comes with every emotion imaginable.
Some days, you'll feel excited because you're exploring somewhere you've dreamed about for years. Other days, you'll feel exhausted after spending ten hours on a bus, frustrated because you've missed a connection, or overwhelmed because nothing seems to be going to plan.
I've had days where I questioned why I was even travelling.
I've had days where everything seemed to go wrong.
I've also had days that reminded me exactly why I fell in love with travelling in the first place.
One of the best examples is Machu Picchu.
If you look at my photos, you'll see me standing there on my 40th birthday, smiling at one of the most iconic places in the world. It looks like the perfect travel moment.
What you don't see is that I had injured my knee on the Inca Trail the day before. Every step was painful. I was physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and honestly just relieved that I had made it to the end.
The photo captured the destination.
It didn't capture the journey it took to get there.
The same thing has happened countless times over the years.
A beautiful photo from Sapa doesn't show the stress of my motorbike breaking down.
A picture from Colombia doesn't mention that my wallet had been stolen.
Photos from Nicaragua's famous Sunday Funday don't show me walking between hostels by myself, hoping I was actually heading in the right direction and wondering what the day would be like.
None of those moments ruined the trip.
In fact, many of them have become some of my favourite stories to tell.
The moments that feel difficult while you're living them often become the moments you laugh about years later.
And the moments that truly change you rarely happen when you're standing in front of a famous landmark.
They happen in the ordinary moments in between.
Behind every travel photo is a story. Sometimes it's challenging, sometimes it's unexpected, and sometimes it's those imperfect moments that become the memories you treasure most.
You Don't Find Yourself. You Build Yourself.
I often hear people say they're going travelling to "find themselves."
I understand the idea.
Travel takes you out of your routine, pushes you outside your comfort zone, and exposes you to different people, cultures, and ways of life. It can absolutely change your perspective.
But I don't believe you suddenly become a different person because you spent two weeks on the other side of the world.
If that were true, I should have found myself somewhere around country number five.
Instead, I was still learning.
Looking back, I can see that every place I lived and every country I visited added another layer to who I was becoming.
Australia taught me that I was capable of building a life on the other side of the world, even when I barely knew anyone.
Living in the United Kingdom showed me that I could make another country feel like home.
Asia challenged me in ways I never expected. Different languages, different cultures, different ways of thinking—it pushed me to become more adaptable, more patient, and more open-minded.
Backpacking through Central America reminded me that even after years of travelling, I still had plenty to learn. There were days when I felt completely confident and days when I questioned every decision I'd made.
No single country changed me.
No single trip changed me.
It was all of them together.
It wasn't one breathtaking sunrise or one unforgettable hike.
It was learning how to stay calm when things didn't go to plan.
It was becoming comfortable walking into a pub alone.
It was figuring out unfamiliar bus systems, navigating language barriers, and trusting that I'd work things out, even when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
Those moments don't usually make it into photo albums.
They aren't the stories people ask about first.
But they are the moments that quietly build confidence.
When I look back at the 23-year-old who boarded a plane to Australia, I don't see someone who was waiting to be "found."
I see someone who still had a lot of growing to do.
Simply because life had a lot more to teach her.
And I don't think that process ever really ends.
Even after 56 countries, I don't feel like I've finished becoming the person I'm meant to be.
I'm still learning.
I'm still growing.
Travel didn't hand me a finished version of myself.
It gave me thousands of experiences that slowly helped me build one.
Travel didn't change me overnight. It was the people I met, the cultures I experienced, and the lessons I learned that slowly helped shape who I am today.
The Journey Never Really Ends
When I was 23 years old, I thought I had a plan.
Move to Australia for six months, see the Great Barrier Reef, learn to scuba dive, and then come home.
If someone had told me that sixteen years later I'd have visited 56 countries, lived in eight of them, and still feel excited about planning my next adventure, I probably wouldn't have believed them.
But if they had told me that travel would help me "find myself," I don't think they would have been right either.
Because I don't think we're ever truly finished becoming who we are.
The person I was at 23 isn't the same person writing this today.
Not because of one incredible trip, one breathtaking view, or one life-changing moment.
But because of thousands of small moments.
The missed buses.
The wrong turns.
The conversations with strangers.
The challenges I didn't think I could overcome.
The ordinary days that never made it into a photo album.
Each one quietly added another piece to the person I was becoming.
That's why I don't believe you need to put pressure on your next trip to change your life.
Go because you're curious.
Go because you want to experience another culture.
Go because you've always dreamed of seeing a place with your own eyes.
Go because it's fun.
If you learn something about yourself along the way, that's a wonderful bonus.
But don't expect to come home with all the answers.
Life doesn't work that way.
Neither does travel.
The journey isn't about finding the person you're supposed to be.
It's about continuing to build them, one experience at a time.
And I hope I never stop.
Travel didn't turn me into someone new. It simply gave me more experiences, more friendships, and more memories that continue to shape who I am.
