Travelling Solo: Finding Joy in My Own Company
As Singles Day (November 11th) approaches — yes, I know it’s also Remembrance Day in some countries — I always find myself reflecting on the question I get asked most often:
“Don’t you get lonely when you travel alone?”
The short answer? No.
The longer answer? Absolutely not — and here’s why.
At the highest point in Tibet — one of my most breathtaking solo adventures.
Learning to Be My Own Favorite Company
I’ve been traveling the world for over fifteen years, living in eight countries and visiting more than fifty. Somewhere along the way, I learned that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It means being free.
I’ve gone to the movies by myself, had dinners overlooking the ocean with no one across the table but my journal, and wandered through ancient landmarks like the Colosseum in Rome without anyone rushing me to the next spot. I’ve celebrated my birthday in a foreign city with a slice of cake and a smile, just happy to be exactly where I was.
When you travel solo, you see the world through your own lens — unfiltered. You don’t have to compromise on where to eat, what to do, or how long to linger at that street market. You can wake up and decide, “Today, I’m doing absolutely nothing,” and no one will argue.
People often assume solo travel must feel isolating, but the truth is: you’re never really alone. Someone always ends up chatting with you on a bus, a local invites you to try a street snack, or you meet a fellow traveler who instantly becomes a lifelong friend.
Just me, my camera, and the Colosseum — no rush, no schedule, just my own company.
Do I Ever Get Lonely?
Of course, there are moments when I miss familiar faces — especially around the holidays. But those moments never last long. I’ve learned to create my own comfort: video calls with friends, journaling sessions in cozy pubs, or long walks where I let my thoughts wander.
Loneliness isn’t something you run from; it’s something you learn to sit with. And when you do, it becomes less scary. You start to realize how capable you are — how good your own company can be.
Exploring ancient temples in Siem Reap, Cambodia — proof that solo moments can be the most peaceful ones.
Love on the Road: Adventures of the Heart
Now, let’s talk about the question behind the question: “What about dating?”
I’ve had my fair share of relationships on the road — some sweet, some short-lived, and a few that turned into great travel stories.
There was the pathological liar in Australia (thankfully easy to dump). Then the sweet guy from India who I dated in New Zealand — he wanted to settle down while I was dreaming about my next destination. Six months after I left, he was married — I guess I helped him figure out what he wanted!
And then came China. At first, that relationship felt like a fairytale: we explored night markets, shared dinners, and spent lazy Sundays watching movies. But as time went on, I found myself working 40–60 hours a week, cooking, cleaning, and paying for everything while he stayed home watching TV. It wasn’t the money that bothered me — it was the imbalance. Relationships are partnerships, not parenthood.
That experience taught me something powerful: love shouldn’t make you feel smaller. It shouldn’t weigh you down. I realized I didn’t need to chase a partner just to fill a space. I wanted someone who added value to my life — and until that happens, I’m perfectly content exploring this planet solo.
One of those solo moments where everything just feels right — Taipei, Taiwan.
The People You Meet Along the Way
Here’s the beautiful truth about solo travel: even when you start out alone, you rarely stay that way.
Over the years, I’ve met some incredible people who turned into lifelong friends.
There’s Lucie, who I affectionately call Frenchie. We met in New Zealand, and later she planned my birthday weekend in Paris — one of my favorite memories. A little while later, I planned our trip to Malaysia down to the very last detail, and we had an amazing time exploring together.
Then there’s Kerri from South Africa — we met in Egypt, then reunited to explore Laos and the Philippines, and even met up again in Hong Kong. She once tried to visit me in Canada, but her visa was denied. We still joke that one day we’ll make it happen.
While working in the Scottish Highlands, I became close friends with Justine from Lithuania. We traveled all around Scotland together, hitchhiking through the countryside — something I never thought I’d try until she showed me how.
My friend Dee, who grew up in England, and I met in New Zealand. Years later, we reunited to party it up in London when I was living in Brighton.
Almost every Tuesday in China, my Canadian friend Brody and I would pick a new pub to visit or explore around Beijing. He later met up with me in Hong Kong, and we spent Halloween at Disneyland — a day I’ll never forget.
And then there’s Bryce (Vietnamese name Quan), my best friend. We met in China, explored Guatemala together, and later reunited at Disney in Florida. He’s Vietnamese but immigrated to the U.S., and we still talk almost every day — whether it’s on Skype or Microsoft Teams when our schedules and time zones finally align.
These are the people who remind me that friendship has no borders. You might only share a short chapter together, but the bond lasts a lifetime.
The amazing humans who turned random adventures into lifelong memories.
Finding Strength in Solitude
Solo travel is more than sightseeing; it’s a crash course in independence. You learn how to read bus timetables in languages you don’t speak, how to negotiate in markets, and how to fix your own problems when things go wrong.
There were times when my phone had no service, my luggage went missing, or I found myself lost in a maze of side streets. But I always figured it out — and each time, I became a little more confident.
I’ve taken plenty of photos on my own — balancing my phone on a rock or setting a timer on a railing and hoping for the best. Those “solo shots” have become little snapshots of my story. When I look back on them, I don’t see someone brave; I see someone having the time of her life. Someone who’s curious, independent, and incredibly grateful for the path she’s chosen.
The mountains remind me: I’ve got this.
Tips for Travelling Solo
If you’ve been thinking about taking your first solo trip, here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way:
Start small. Choose a destination that feels manageable — somewhere safe, friendly, and easy to navigate.
Stay connected. Let someone know your plans and check in regularly. It keeps you grounded.
Pack confidence. Walk with purpose. You’ll blend in better and attract fewer scammers.
Be curious, not careless. Talk to locals, but trust your gut. Your intuition is your best travel tool.
Don’t over-plan. Leave room for spontaneity — that’s where the magic happens.
Treat yourself. Order the dessert. Upgrade the room once in a while. Celebrate your independence.
When the view makes you hit the brakes — Scotland, somewhere between “wow” and “I’m never leaving.”
What I’ve Learned About Myself
Traveling solo has taught me to enjoy my own rhythm. I’ve discovered I’m capable of far more than I ever imagined — navigating foreign cities, fixing my own problems, and finding peace in the unknown.
I used to think happiness came from companionship, but now I see it comes from contentment. It’s self-rewarding to know that I’ve built a life full of experiences on my own terms. I don’t need a travel partner to validate that — though I’ll never say no to good company when it shows up.
Finding joy in the simple moments — Malaysia taught me to laugh at life’s little adventures.
Final Thoughts
So, do I get lonely? No.
Sometimes I get quiet, but that’s not the same thing.
There’s a special kind of peace that comes from wandering solo — trying a new beer in a local pub, journaling under a palm tree, or watching the world go by from a train window. It’s in those moments that I feel most alive.
Being single doesn’t mean being incomplete. It means you’ve got all the time and space to write your own story — one country, one friendship, and one beautiful adventure at a time.
“You’ll never regret taking the trip — only not taking it.”
New friends in Scotland, new beers in Austria — and a thousand memories in between!
Ready to Start Your Own Adventure?
Thinking about your first solo trip? Check out my printable Travel Planner and Vacation Savings Challenge in the Unsettled JD Shop to help make it happen — and remember, the best travel partner you’ll ever have is you.
Start saving for your next getaway! Download the $10,000 Vacation Savings Challenge — a fun way to stay motivated while working toward your dream trip.
